Today I went through my notes in order to toss out the ones which are no longer relevant–and I came across a very interesting one. I wrote it about a year ago.
I wrote about what kind of person I would like to be at this stage in my life. It was a rather detailed description — “how would I deal with challenges; how would I talk to my family and anyone else; really listen and do my best to understand and support them” — to exude confidence, cheerfulness, hope; –no matter what topics might come up. To bring joy rather than expect to “find” joy. To be the kind of person others want to be around!
This would mean I had to change a few of my mental habits.
I certainly did not like who I was and how I was behaving. I was very unhappy with myself. I reacted a lot and found myself miserable most of the time. The biggest change I focused on was–be kind and patient with myself. This was the biggest challenge and made a huge difference. It literally is a mental habit that can be changed.
After I wrote that note, changes started to happen within me. I came across books, articles videos which kept guiding me in a different direction. I did not realize it then but after I returned from our trip to Europe I looked at this photo– I was sitting at the Heath-row airport and to my amazement I liked myself. I was happy.
To be honest I had forgotten what it feels like to be happy. I have become the person I want to be–of course I still need to grow, but I know I am going in the right direction. I am finally comfortable in my own skin. What an achievement!
So the point of this story is–write down what you truly desire and changes will gradually take place. I was so surprised when I read this note and realized that I’d made tremendous progress. I am going to continue writing out what I like to see happen and TRUST that in time these changes will indeed take place. I am also committed to do my part!
Maria De La Rosa