All my life as long as I can remember I have been in a state of anxiety and nervousness or uneasiness. Since this was the case for most of the time — I took it as a normal state of being.
It started in my elementary school years. Although I was very excited about going to school and loved school– especially on the days when we were going to have tests — I always did well on tests. Still there was this undercurrent of anxiety in my mind — particularly on Sunday nights before going back to school or work. There was no apparent reason for being anxious–only that ever present feeling of foreboding that something might go wrong.–The Unknown– I could never get rid of. Why was that so?
Just recently as I was working on my project and did some research I felt this same sense of anxiety and nervousness coming back. This made me stop and think. –Thinking back on my life I have been afflicted with that ever present feeling of anxiety.. Before I started the project I had a period when I was just happy — enjoying my simple life — the small things. But as soon as I decided to embark on my new project, I felt a lot of pressure and feeling hurried all the time.
There is nothing outside of me putting any kind of pressure on me. Is it just a habit, albeit a very powerful one? I really want to be free of that. I believe if we are happy, curious and excited would allow for more creativity and productivity. It always helps to write down what is going on in our minds. It helps to clarify things. I have read that there is a switch one can use, if only we remember where it is and to use it. This switch is called gratitude.
As soon as I remember to use this switch — this feeling of anxiety and nervousness simply disappears. It is said that it is impossible to feel negative and positive emotions at the same time and gratitude is a powerful positive emotion. We can learn and get into the habit of doing just that. As long as we live there is always something to be grateful for. Even if we at times find ourselves in very difficult situations. We can still feel gratitude–focus on the moment and enjoy the sunshine, the clouds, the rain, my hands, feet, eyes and so many things we take for granted.
I attest to that it is possible to feel joy and gratitude even in the midst of sorrowful circumstances I want to recall an experience I had some years ago
I was driving home from the hospital — I had to leave my 3 year old daughter at the hospital in order to take care of my other children — I thought I literally was losing my mind –I was so worried. My daughter had to stay in the hospital for further tests. But the doctors thought she might have leukemia due to her bruises all over her body.
No one can imagine what that feels like unless they have gone through it themselves.
As I was driving, I finally said to God–”I am simply not able to cope with this situation — I am placing her into your hands:” At that moment a shift in my consciousness took place–I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude and peace coming over me — I felt truly grateful for every sun ray; the road my car was driving on; the other drivers on the road– I felt a real connection with them–I can only call this “being in a state of Grace”. Then the realization of how to cope came from within me.
I became acutely aware that regardless of the actual diagnosis–my daughter would be fine. Even If if the worst should happen she will be fine. I felt this strong conviction. Still there was no assurance that physically she will we alright. But whatever may happen, she will be cared for, feel loved and be happy. We had to wait for two very long weeks for the results of the tests.
As it turned out, she did not have leukemia. It was another far less dangerous condition and today she is fine.
I have learned what the power of gratitude and faith can do and that we can use that power anytime anywhere regardless of what we might be facing.
I am talking about this experience because I want to emphasize that regardless of our sometimes very difficult circumstances —there is always a way to cope and we do not have to live with anxiety as an ever present companion.
What about our daily–our ordinary life? We seem to constantly be anxious of never having enough time; we get very impatient with ourselves and others. If we would actually make a habit of being grateful? What would a day like this look like?
No one can know what the future holds. But we have coping mechanisms in us. There is no need to spend our lives in a constant state of anxiety, feeling overwhelmed. We are created to enjoy our life and we have the ability to do just that.
Another one very important key is “Living according to one’s Conscience”. When I was growing up, it was still emphasized in school as well as by our parents. The word “Conscience” in today’s society is not heard very often.
However anyone living according to his conscience will experience Peace of Mind. It is a difficult subject and I will be writing about it in the future.